A sixteen year old flower child get's kidnapped by Iraq. She was forced to drive her van into a bank and set off explosives, but she didn't know it would be a suicide mission.
One day earlier she was at a speed of 40mph heading toward the bank. She was smoking a cigarette in a car with explosives that she forgot about, she set the cigarette down on the explosives and blew the car up on accident when she was 100 yards away from the bank, saving hundreds.
I don't think explosives should be so accessible to people. Some people these days can just look up how to make a bomb on the internet. When I was coming back from Utah we stopped in a store in Wyoming to get dry ice We asked one of the store clerks but he said they couldn't sell it because people were making bombs.
Ending your short story hook at "suicide mission" makes for a great hook! You have given us a chance to wonder what is going to happen to this flower child who has ironically found herself trapped in the middle of a war. This is a set up for good conflict.
ReplyDeleteFor your essay hook, you have a clear opinion. However, a thesis tends to work better when placed at the end of your introduction. Imagine a funnel shape for your introduction paragraph: Context would be at the top, relevant details would make up the middle, and the thesis would close the paragraph at the bottom. This allows a reader to be directed, or "funneled," into your essay.